Gossip gets a bad rap, but evidence suggests that it plays a critical role in the maintenance of social order. According to the study, spreading information about a person who has been badly behaved tended to make people feel better, quieting the frustration that drove their gossip.
When somoene behaves in an immoral way (stealing alcohol perhaps), we get frustrated, but being able to communicate this information to others makes us feel better and less frustrated.
Gossip is also a vital social skill, because it gives you a quick and easy way to learn the lay of the land, socially speaking. Think about it, you spot a bad guy, you let everyone know, right?
But the aim of the game is not to socially crucify people, there are healthy ways to gossip. Below are some guidelines for creating a healthy gossip space with a supportive friend or coworker:
1. Identify a person you gossip about consistently and with whom your relationship is strained.
2. Open the gossip session with your friend by acknowledging your part in the scenario.
3. Ask your friend for help in dealing with the person you always gossip about.
4. Then gossip till you heart is content, do not hold back (this is actually also therapeutic). Then ask your friend for feedback.
5. When your friend gives you feedback, pay attention.
We've all done it, but there's a way to do it!
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